The Awkward Poem

People say that others feel awkward
As an autistic, I feel awkwarder still
Where they might search to find the right words
I’m unsure that I ever will

People often say that they understand me
Yet in their eyes, I can recognize fear
Which is a hard sight to be faced with
In the eyes of one you hold dear

As I try to find proper wording
Wrack my brain for the right thing to say
My heart sinks and I feel only sadness
When my words are said, and they look away

When my heart only wishes for friendship
And I work hard so my actions are pure
And I do my best to build their trust
Yet the response is hesitant and unsure

And I am told that it is not me that’s deficient
That there is nothing that I haven’t done right
That everyone goes through such struggles
And trust isn’t built overnight

But however much I may hope my heart matters,
No matter how much I work, or I pray
Too often I too soon am finding
That the awkward has pushed them away

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