Wanting to slay dragons, so I can move beyond them…

These are two posts I made on my personal Facebook page today…

Love is more than a luxury. It is a necessity, like air and water. This world is dying from lack of love. It is proven scientifically that babies can physically die from emotional deprivation. But what is that doing to adults? What is it doing to our planet, and the other occupants we share it with? How much of what is bad in this world could be cured by simply loving it more? Love is free, and readily available. It is up to each of us to share it, and nurture the world and each other. We are at a turning point, where this is not an option. We must breathe, and we must love.

As a more personal follow up to my post right before this one… people have told me I am needy. So I admit it (not that we aren’t all to some extent). My personal need comes from several different places, I am autistic, yes. I grew up being bullied, hated, and shunned, even from within my own family. I was told repeatedly, and convinced, that I was worthless, not just a millstone around the necks of my parents, but of the world. And as much as I know now those words were not about me, it is still hard to overcome them. Yet, despite those words, I lived in a world I love very much, surrounded by people who have so readily captured my heart. As an observing bystander for so many years, I have seen both that which is incredibly bad in the world, and also that which is spectacularly beautiful and good. I have seen both in most of the people I have known. I have seen both – through critical eyes – in myself. But I still believe in the fundamental goodness of all. I still believe in the power of love. To some extent, at this point in my life, the neediness comes from a certain impatience. Let me please put behind me all my fears of not belonging, of dying feeling I’ve not been loved, of being an outcast in the world I adore with every fiber of my being. Let me focus instead on all the things I believe I can do to improve that world. Let me not fear love lost, but instead share every ounce of love inside me to the betterment of those around me. To find that strength, to find that ability, is my fondest wish, but one I have not yet been able to do alone… so – needy, yes, impatient, yes… but please understand why.

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