Autism Wars

I falter,
They find only me to blame.
They think I should be the same.
As them.
I’m not.

They say I should listen better.
That I don’t understand.
I cry.
Because that’s what I’ve been saying
All along.
I don’t.
But they don’t either.
The thing is, I want to.
But it doesn’t seem
Like they do.

There are no words I know
There are no words to say
When listening is only done
By one

To me
Is such a precious thing.
That I would give
Anything for.
The only thing that might be precious
Is trust.

They don’t trust me.
Because I am different.
Because I do not do what
They expect.
I do not trust them
Because they are different.
They do not do
What they say.

Words that mean
Different things
From what the
Dictionary says.
I find only
To confuse me.

I go home and cry
They do not miss me,
I know
Yet I would do anything
If they would.
I miss them more than any of those words
I might say
If I only knew what
They were.

Autism is not my friend.
I just wish I had one.
But I don’t even know if
I do.

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